I’ve already posted what were my Top 20 Films of 2012 but of course things weren’t all good this year. There were many which left more than a bad taste in the mouth, the films that make you weep for the state of cinema if only for that two hours you’re watching them, the films that are not so much at the bottom of the barrel as lying flat under it.
Below are are the films I consider the worst to be released over the last 12 months. Now keep in mind I didn’t see absolutely everything released in the year and I tend to avoid the movies which I know for a fact are going to be absolutely terrible; for example the likes of Keith Lemon: The Film, Jack & Jill, Top Cat – The Movie and The Knot won’t be making an appearance. These are just the worst of those I happened to see at the cinema. Feel free to disagree, in fact I welcome that, but remember this is my list.
So without further ado here are my top 10 worst films of 2012!
10. Alex Cross
This ludicrous and unintentionally laughable mystery thriller features Tyler Perry (yes, that Tyler Perry) as the popular literary character of the title. His wooden and uncharismatic performance is the least of the film’s problems, however, as it stumbles from one ludicrous set-piece to another, wedging in forced emotion any and every way it can. Even the occasionally fun Matthew Fox as a bald-headed psycho obsessed with pain can’t save this one. FULL REVIEW HERE
9. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
A sequel that in the first five minutes basically tells you to forget the last one, this misjudged follow/mulligan from the directors of the Crank franchise somehow makes the first one look like a great film. Alongside the obligatory bad acting and head-smacking dialogue, its shaky cam action and nonsensical story (even taken on its own terms as a throwaway blockbuster) make this one of the worst of the year. FULL REVIEW HERE
8. Silent Hill: Revelation
I’m actually not as down on the first Silent Hill as a lot of people seem to be; it has some interesting visuals and some decent scares. However, the same can’t be said for its pointless sequel. Basically redoing the same sort of visuals found in the first film except with less flair and imagination, this is stupid and ridiculous horror at its limpest. FULL REVIEW HERE
7. Resident Evil: Retribution
The (believe it or not) fifth installment in the bizarrely successful Resident Evil franchise is a lazy, unimaginative rehash of what the series has been doing for the last three movies, complete with gimmicky 3D, boring and repetitive action and an ending that so blatantly sets up a sixth film that it practically means that you could have skipped this one altogether.
6. Love Bite
Another one of those low-budget British horror comedies that fails to provide either the scares or the laughs to make it even a half-way worthwhile experience. Practically stealing its character types and laddish humour from The Inbetweeners but lacking all the wit and likeability, this is most definitely one to skip. FULL REVIEW HERE
5. Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger!
I never saw the first Nativity movie but apparently it was cute fun in its own right. However, the sequel was anything but. Although generally good-natured (which is the only reason why it’s not higher on the list), this is a shockingly bad film that is, essentially, about a classroom assistant who kidnaps a bunch of young school kids and takes them on a trip through the Welsh countryside, all in the name of making it in time for a Christmas singing competition. I’m sorry, it doesn’t get away with it all just because “it’s supposed to be for kids.” The little ‘uns deserve better than this.
4. The Watch
What could have been a riotous laugh with a bunch of funny comedic actors at the top of their game was instead a mess of vulgar humour and lame sci-fi. We spend the runtime with Ben Stiller sleepwalking his way to a paycheck, Vince Vaughn doing his usual loud-mouth routine, Jonah Hill looking like he belongs in a different movie and the usually brilliant Richard Ayoade completely wasted as a character whose only real purpose is to be the bumbling Brit who doesn’t understand Americanisms. The half-hearted sci-fi aspect only adds insult to injury. FULL REVIEW HERE
3. The Fourth Dimension
A little film that I caught at the Edinburgh Film Festival, The Fourth Dimension is a bizarre, pretentious, self-indulgent piece of nonsense made up of three different segments (one of which features Val Kilmer as some sort of weird motivational speaker at a bowling alley), each as pointless as the others. FULL REVIEW HERE
2. The Devil Inside
This disgrace to the horror genre utilized the now extremely overused found-footage format in the worst possible way, providing zero scares and consistently insulting the audience’s intelligence. It also ends not with a proper ending but rather instructions to visit a website. Atrocious. FULL REVIEW HERE
1. Project X
More of a 90-minute long party (that I would have no interest in ever attending) than an actual film, Project X has stuck with me as a lowlight of the past 12 months. A film so hateful, so mysoginistic, so ridiculous, so pointless and so terminally boring, with some of the most irritating characters in ages, that I have no choice but to name it my worst film of 2012. FULL REVIEW HERE
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That does it for my top 10 worst films of 2012. Feel free to comment below with your thoughts on my list (play nice!) and also letting us know what were the worst films you saw this past year.