J.J. Abrams is one of the busiest man in Hollywood right now, with much cinematic and TV plate-spinning going on. Now the man in charge of both Stars, Wars and Trek, has delivered another thrilling and visually stunning outing for Captain Kirk and his crew, even if it lacks the clarity, weighty ideas and consistent pace of the last one.
Star Trek Into Darkness sees the crew of the USS Enterprise return home from a dangerous mission, soon finding themselves coming up against a formidable foe in the form of the mysterious John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch), who has attacked Starfleet and fled to a dangerous planet in deep space. It’s then up to Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock and the rest of the crew to go after and stop him.
It’s hard to talk about the plot of the film without entering in spoiler territory. Indeed some of the best parts of watching an Abrams project is not knowing any plot specifics and allowing the (fanboy-tinged) twists and turns to hurl at you like debris in space. And thankfully the Abrams mystery box is still in good shape as that’s where a lot of the fun comes from here. Abrams alongside screenwriters Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof are clearly having a lot of fun playing in the Star Trek sand pit where old and new ideas are gleefully mixed.
However, it’s in the ideas department that this particular instalment of the franchise falls shorter than its predecessor. Where that attempted weighty, heady ideas about time-travel and the like, this one seems much more content with throwing spectacle up on the screen in droves. It’s just a huge relief, then, that Abrams knows damn well how to put those scenes together and so it makes for a visually spectacular, viscerally enjoyable blockbuster even if it doesn’t fully deliver on an intellectually nourishing level.
One of the joys of the previous film was in seeing the newly cast characters spark dialogue off of one another, most of them immediately sinking into there roles in a way that made it seem like they’d been playing them for years. The novelty of that isn’t quite found here but the wit and charm hasn’t worn off, with the likes of Pine as Kirk and particularly Quinto as Spock (arguably the most perfect piece of reboot casting ever) all on top-form. The friendship between those two is paramount to the relatability of their continuing journeys and the two actors do a lot to sell that potentially hokey relationship among the often chaotic plot around them.
Zoe Saldana has a strong female character on her hands with Uhura and she continues to handle it well, with her expanded relationship with Spock being one of the films most moving aspects. John Cho as Sulu and Anton Yelchin as Chekov get the shorter end of the stick in terms of getting much to do while Simon Pegg and Karl Urban provide the sometimes overdone comic relief as Scotty and Bones, respectively . There’s strong support from the likes of Bruce Greenwood and Robocop himself Peter Weller, but new addition Alice Eve is shoehorned into the franchise. Her signature scene is a gratuitous shot of her in her underwear – it’s nowhere near the leering sleaziness of, say, Michael Bay and his Transformers movies but it’s unnecessary nevertheless.
It’s with Cumberbatch’s terrorist-like character of John Harrison that the film really excels. Intimidating, menacingly charismatic and utterly fascinating, Cumberbatch is a massively welcome addition to the already brilliant cast, bringing an immediacy and unpredictability to the proceedings. It’s worth seeing for his performance alone.
The real stroke of brilliance of the rebooted Star Trek was how it satisfied both the hardcore Trekkies out there and those who have never watched Star Trek in their life, leaning just enough on what had come before while not leaving anyone out of the loop, well, out of the loop. Can the same be said for Into Darkness? Perhaps the balance has tipped a little more into Trekkie territory, especially when it comes to a second act reveal, but it’s never enough to derail the mission as a whole. Overall it builds well on the last film, deepening the character relationships and elevating their personal danger, as well as continuing to tip the hat to the old Trek canon.
Contrary to what the title suggests, Abrams approaches the material with energy, passion and even light-heartedness, where characters and their banter are as much as the forefront as the space battles and shootouts. The latter is a strength throughout but the film ultimately survives on strong characterization above all else. It papers over the pacing issues (it’s very stop, start, stop, start in nature) with a commitment to making this iteration of the franchise, filled with characters we actually care about, something we can take seriously without sacrificing its sense of fun.
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This is it, this is the real deal…
The official, canon, authorized, approved, licensed, and 100% channeled James Dixon review…
Warning: This doesn’t contain spoilers but it does contain some abusive language!
When the dead get pissed…they go mad!
Bitching from 6′ under… My grave has been desecrated by Abrams! His first “Trek” film put me in the grave–this one’s bringing me back out as a fucking zombie out for vengeance!
Star Trek Into Darkness…
Fitting, for I want Abrams DOWN HERE with me, rotting in the ground where he can’t inflict any more harm on SF’s greatest franchise! I want him Here where I can eat his brain out–that little pea-sized snack that wouldn’t satisfy a newborn tribble! I wanna sink my rotting zombie-teeth into his skull and eat his face off… Then I’LL scream that **I Saved Star Trek** by “Re-Imagining” Abrams DEAD!
Well, there’s this other Review by Louise Keller:
“It is with grand scale, good storytelling and a real spirit of adventure capturing the essence of the Star Trek brand that J.J. Abrams’ second film torpedoes onto the screen in 3D, bringing with it the kind of special effects fantasies are made of…”
BULLSHIT!
I don’t know where the hell this “capturing the essence” shit is coming from… I don’t know where this “good storytelling” is coming from… And Any film that needs a 3-D gimmick as a crutch (as if it doesn’t already have a 50-year old franchise of fans Already!) is instantly suspect!
Maybe Louise never watched Trek and is just repeating what other paid critics are saying because she doesn’t know better… Or maybe she’s a paid critic… Or maybe she’s only 8 years old…?? Maybe a combination of the above?
Another one says “STID is way better than TWOT”–What’s that, The Wrath Of Trelane? The Wrath Of Tribbles? Or a typo by same gay guy on how much better this sad film is than female genitalia?
Then there’s the Other reviews which all suspiciously begin more or less the same way: “I’m not a Star Trek fan BUT…”–but you should keep your mouth shut since you’ve no business reviewing something you’ve no business sticking your nose in and reviewing, Bozo! And also don’t bother to Vote on it since you’re probably give it a 10! There are by far More of these “critics” out there than there are Fans… Wonder why!
Also if I read the same old bullshit lines of “This is not your father’s Star Trek” and “Star Trek needed to be rebooted…”–Ever Again, I’ll go out and slaughter my neighbor’s pets…(and keeping with the zombie theme, Eat their brains!)… Damned right it’s not my father’s Star Trek… My father never watched kiddie cartoons, either! What the hell’s the Point of that!
Just keep repeating these lines over and over again until you’re absolutely convinced Star Trek is back and better than ever before… It’s all a part of Paramount’s new brainwashing campaign…
And don’t forget: If you’re a Real Star Trek Fan you’ll Love this shit simply because it’s the latest and greatest shit with the name “Star Trek” on it! To say otherwise means you’re Not a real Trek fan! In fact, you’re a goddamned flamer out to destroy Star Trek–if you Don’t love the latest dish! Keep repeating that to yourselves, too… It’s the new and improved Borg protocol and doesn’t even require members to submit to cybernetic implantation…
You know, I take back most of everything I’ve said about the many Trek fan films on the Internet… You see, at least those fans TRIED to do something Star Trek… They didn’t have the resources, the actors, the money…but at least they TRIED… Abrams never tried… Abrams didn’t have to Try–he’s in it for the money and is NOT out to please Trek fans but to please His New Audience… It’s Abrams way or the highway…and if you Don’t kiss his fat, Jewish ass then you’re dog meat, boy! (Yeah, I kind of like that angle: Fat Jewish Ass–that should stir up the Anti-Semitic freedom fighters and turn the whole thing into a racial/religious war zone! Just like I don’t like Rap so that makes me anti-Black… So putting this together: Thereby if you LOVE Abrams’ works you’re NOT a Nazi and you’re on the side of Good and Righteousness! But if you HATE Abrams’ works you are therefore a skinhead Nazi and hate him for his genetics! And NOT a True Star Trek Fan! This falls right smack into the politically-correct crowds’ laps! It nicely reinforces the Collective)…
The critics are Paid! The ones who boost this thing up to a 9.0 or whatever are Paid or at least have some monetary interest in seeing this garbage succeed… In today’s society, if you control the PR you control the sheeple–who can’t Think for themselves, and that includes judging a movie Beyond it’s CGI glitter! The others are juveniles just going along for the ride because they’re the most easily influenced, and are ideal salesmen for shit of this order…After all, these films Are aimed at them…
Speaking of Paid critics, the worst review of STID appearing on the Internet has Vanished! Hmm… A nice “page not found”… Positive reviews remain, negative ones disappear… Hmm…
Keep those positive reviews posted though and You Will eventually Love this film because, well, everyone else is, and you don’t want to be left out of the big hug, now do you?
That’s how movies Work these days, because there’s close to a billion bucks invested in each, so every little dirty trick is required to guarantee a turnout… Let me put this in all caps: IT’S ALL ABOUT MONEY, STUPID! SCREW THE ORIGINAL FANS!
The technique has resulted in the 2009 film being praised as The greatest and best Star Trek movie of all-time! And it’s resulted in the death of a long-time first-generation Treknical Trekker…
The other category of reviews I read come from the cinematic equivalent of “soccer moms”–ugly bimbos who have not the faintest grasp of science or science fiction and are easily wowed by anything Big on the screen… They don’t know the difference between Star Trek and Lost in Space, and neither have they ever watched them… It’s all one-and-the-same: Science Fiction=Fantasy=Kiddie fodder… Star Wars, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Little Mermaid, Barney The Dinosaur–all in the Same category! To them, Trek and anything SFy is about guys running around with stupid pointy ears on and shooting one another with laser guns–and whomever puts the biggest blasts on-screen, gets the highest thumbs up… They also give high praise to those films which entertain their little kiddies the most (and keep them out of their hair)…which apparently is (to them) the Whole Point of these movies… Like this sad excuse for a film… Come to think of it, most movie critics fall into this category, especially nowadays when religion is more important than science and that molds the thinking processes of a great majority of coach potato pinheads…
I want to read a review by a genuine Science Fiction Fan who grew up with Forbidden Planet and 2001… Not some 16 year old who grew up watching Transformers, Rectal Rangers and Star Wars Episode I in his diapers… NOT someone who’s going to be making some money off of investments in AbramsTrek… I bet all the authors on TheTrekBBS are gushing over how great this film is…They have to, if they want future paychecks… When I hear “This is better than Star Wars” it should refer to the Original film or at least Original trilogy, not the Prequel one starring JarJar Binks and the CGI clones!
I’m also sick of reading: “I’m a new Star Trek fan because I LOVED the 2009 film, my First Trek movie…” They’re the ones who’ll eat Abrams’ shit raw and think it’s a fine cut of steak… Yeah, I’ve had it up to here reading about how Abrams is this new Visionary, the New Steven Spielberg, who has this Talent… He’s a jackass spoiled kid who KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT REAL SF, much less proper movie-making in general, much less basic science outside of comic books, who had a rich parent open Doors for him in Hollywood and Place him where he is today, and Hand Him the Trek franchise Goldmine (which he didn’t deserve, nor initially even Want because he’s a self-admitted Non-Fan of Trek)! But now you’re going to shit-back to me, “Well, Harve Bennett and Nicholas Myer who did ST II didn’t know about Star Trek either…”–yeah, but they had Talent and Experience; they were capable of telling Stories and they more or less did their homework on Star Trek… Above all, they knew about things like Characters and Plot–and they weren’t catering to a teen crowd of movie-goers either! Abrams has No talent whatsoever–but a CGI crew who does the work for him! Let me shout it out again: ABRAMS HAS NO TALENT! Neither does his writer buddies responsible for penning the motion sickness scripts for “Armageddon” and “Transformers” and numerous other hack crap! Maybe the CGI crew should be getting the praise and the big bucks–they Are these films… You Don’t think the kids who are watching them are getting all wrapped up in the Deep dialogue or the Scientific plausibility and Logical plotlines or the well-crafted 3-d Characters, do ya? (if not for the 3-d glasses there wouldn’t Be characters!)… I think this is one of the top reasons I’m so furious: unwarranted praise of a talentless film director… Seriously, if Ed Wood, Jr. had been given this kind of budget and CGI wizardry Abrams has been given… Abrams is not only inexperienced but Immature, as evidenced throughout all his work, and should be kept a great distance from “adult” film making… He’s a big kid who never grew up but been given this Adult playground to play in–and us longtime fans now have to put up with his sandbox shit! All he can do is deliver banal dialogue to somehow tie one action scene together to the next action scene, with lots of noise and explosions… Plot, characters, and Intelligence is virtually non-existent… The 2009 movie was more like Star Trek For Dummies, in which case, Into Darkness should be either Star Trek For Dummies Volume 2 or Star Trek For Idiots…
And call him Abrams not “J.J.”–I had enough related shit like that some years ago with the media addressing O.J. Simpson as “O.J.” and not “Simpson”… Both Simpson and Abrams are murderers–but with Entirely Different Victims… Maybe you call yourself a fan Now because Trek’s made you a big multi-millionaire, after making your first “Trek” flick into a pseudo-parody remake of TOS jam-packed with Star WARS attributes… “Oh, I don’t know who Jim Kirk is, just play him as Indiana Jones and Luke Skywalker!”… And isn’t is so cute how you put the “Kaaaahhhnn!” scream in your new flick! I bet you had a fucking good laugh out of that one, as I know the audience did as well! But it’s not to be Laughed At, Abrams… Only young punks like you who think Star Trek is one big cheeze camp gag laugh-fest Laugh at real emoting dialogue like that… Welcome to the same club as Tim Burton’s take on “Dark Shadows,” Abrams… Maybe you two can become butt-buddies… It’s all one big joke to you; one I’m not laughing at… When my dead hand strangles you and you make Stupid gasping sounds with your wet tongue hanging out of your mouth (Just like JarJar Binks in your favorite, definitive Star Wars flick! Yeah!) Then I’ll be Laughing at YOU!
Star Wars Episode VII is going to be a blockbuster, not because of Abrams but because it’s a sequel to the classic trilogy and Brings Back The Characters we actually cared about: Luke, Han, and Leia–played By the original actors! It’s an automatic Given or Slam-Dunk if you want to call it that, even if Abrams sits on his ass and gives each character one line of forgettable banal dialogue, and does jackshit with them… That’s the Second goldmine handed to him…
If Jeanne Dixon can ‘predict’ future shit, I can go one step better and predict future reality!
Let’s do Abrams’ cast for future Trek flicks: Will Smith as Lord Kruge… Paris Hilton as Gillian Taylor… Eddie Murphy as General Chang…
You take your kids away from a well-balanced diet and let them loose in a candy store… Here they find all manner of sickly sweet goodies to gorge themselves upon… “No, mommy I Don’t want to go back to eating healthy ever again! I want More and more Sugar! It’s SO Sweet and Good!” It’s also slowly killing you, you little bastard! Go ahead, spend the rest of your life here in the candy store… Stay away from a healthy diet… Just keep taking in all that sugar…screwup your body… Now there’s nothing wrong with a little sweet treat every now and then–but don’t Live On It exclusively! Don’t make whole Meals out of it! Don’t build your lifetime’s consumption around it! That’s what Abrams is to Science Fiction… It’s all image and no substance… An empty shell, but a very polished and pretty shell…Keep looking at it and maybe you’ll go blind! There are many other analogies to use, like letting your kids stay home and never go back to school so they can watch cartoons and read comic books and Never Mature… Just stay home in the comfort of their bedrooms and play forever without facing the real world and growing into proper adults… That’s Abrams for you! There’s nothing wholesome in his works… Nothing to make your Think or Engage your intelligence… It’s all about Show, which is, let’s face it, what America is becoming… Image over substance…
They keep this PR boost going and the Emperor’s New Clothes Syndrome going, and any polished turd will be praised… The only “boldly going” is the Shitting! A bold piece of shit! So Expect More Of The Same! It’s what You Want! You keep Paying for it, you’ll keep Getting It! Abrams will rake in all your sorry dough, take in the Praise he doesn’t deserve, and keep making fools of fans…
Abrams is Science Fiction’s filmdom’s worst nightmare… There’s just no Science left in it anymore, just comic book brainlessness exposition… Next we’ll have Kirk and crew fly out of the Enterprise without wearing pressure suits and zapping everyone with their phaser guns, like some bad kiddie cartoon… No gravity, no physics, no sense… That’s pretty much the future of Trek: it’s a Nightmare! It’s Trek in NAME ONLY! I don’t see it getting any better…
It’s like the movie “Idiocracy” come true! Imagine a distant future Trek movie, call it “Star Trek: Uhura’s Tits” that consists entirely of a black babe’s exposed breasts jiggling around for a couple hours while the audience ooh’s and aah’s over it! Maybe play some derivative Alexander Courage and/or Jerry Goldsmith music in the background to Justify it being called Star Trek! “Oh, isn’t this megafuckingawesome Star Trek! This is Real Star Trek not your great-great-great-great-fuckingwhatevergreat-grandfather’s Star Trek!” “Lookathat Fluid squirting and splashing over Uhura’s boobz! AWESOME! That is one fucking-talented actress! Too bad we never see her face! But with that cleavage she doesn’t Need a face!” “With these 5-D glasses I can almost reach out, squeeze em, and taste em! AWESOME!”…
How’d that timeline come about? Somewhere around 2100 A.D. in the Non-Trek Doomsday Timeline, some ghetto boy with a title and money (probably from being a pimp king and selling hyper-crack), with enough Hollywood influence, steps and decides to…what’s that phrase again? Yeah… Re-Invent Star Trek for the New Generation…of brain-dead assholes… Don’t say it won’t happen, it’s already happened to a greater or lesser degree back in 2009… And when it comes to brain-dead, I’m living proof of that down here in a buried box, so you Can’t argue That point with me! I’m living it!
When I buy a Treknical book on Starships, I expect it to contain some nice, detailed schematics of ships, smooth line drawings and plenty of call-outs and specs; perhaps some deck plans… They need not even be in full color or glossy! Most of all it has to be informative… I DO NOT want to open a book claiming to be a Treknical book on Starships–only to find page after page of pretty starship pictures! No text, no specs, no call-outs, just Pictures as in Paintings (CGI or otherwise), maybe even accompanied with cheap 3-D glasses to “enhance” that “experience”… I’d feel Cheated… That’s what Abrams has delivered here, in motion picture format…
The last REAL Trek movie was Nemesis… Even with all its flaws it was at least aimed at an Adult audience (deliberately ignoring the B4 subplot’s forced “humor”) and wasn’t a kiddie rollercoaster ride constructed around a CGI fest! It at least was set in the Real Trek Universe, had our real characters–and played by the real actors, and a serious plot with decent acting…not This half-assed abomination…
Into Darkness…
It should be called Into Dark Shit…
It sucked like an Abrams’ black hole fed with Red Matter!
It sucked like a Regulan bloodworm pumped full of cordrazine!
It sucked like a dehydrated, virgin Orion whore girl at a Vulcan pon farr party!
It sucked…Period!
It’s not Trek any more than the 09 joke was… It’s all image and no substance… It’s a cheap remake of TWOK fused with juvenile crap and lots of explosions and ridiculous over-the-top action sequences to satisfy attention deficit cravings (i.e. the majority of American kids)…
It uses the Trek name, the Trek character Names, and other little bits randomly chucked in… It’s no more Trek than my hairy, rotting asshole is a tribble… And my rotting corpse is no more Bones, either! There’s only one Real McCoy!
I liked the bogus script posted on Above Top Secret much better (and That one was deliberately dumbed-down, written As a sort of moronic parody screenplay by kids for kids, complete with Star Wars cliches and stupid one-liners…and typed up in just under 1 hour without pay!)…
Better watch out now for Zombie-Dixon… He’s out of the grave and headed your way to battle the Abrams Collective!
Hold that thought, save it for a trailer catch-phrase… Let’s make a “Star Trek” film outta that and call That Star Trek! “Star Trek: Abrams Enters Darkness!”
(Graveyard… Zombie-Dixon appears and approches the short, rich asshole named Abrams)…
Zombie-Dixon: You killed me! You killed the universe I lived for! You killed Treknology!
Abrams: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
Zombie-Dixon is joined by Zombie-Bird (yeah, I know he’s Ashes, but this is just a movie!) who approaches Abrams… Abrams shits in his pants…
Zombie-Bird: You murdered my Vision…
(Abrams tops his already-full pants by urinating in them)…
Abrams: I only re-invented Star Trek for a new generation of fans…
(A third zombie joins the others, this is Zombie-Majel–strictly thrown in for Abrams’ T&A protocol, of course!)…
Zombie-Majel: It’s wrong to do this to a franchise with a billion fans…
(Abrams slips on his own mountain of fresh excrement and lands on his fat little ass, smashing open part of his head on a tombstone, leaving a nice bloody trail of fresh blood)…
Abrams: NO!
Zombie-Dixon: Ferengi-scumbag! Class One Starships of the Line DO NOT get ‘parked’ at the bottom of Oceans!
(Zombie-Dixon bites both of Abrams’ ears off)…
Zombie-Dixon: How’s it feel now, with No lobes!
Zombie-Jefferies: I wouldn’t even Think of landing the Enterprise much less underwater…
(In the distance, More zombies are approaching… Zombie-Doohan, Zombie-Kelley, Zombie-Jefferies, Zombie-Solow, Zombie-Theiss, Zombie-etc…)…
Abrams: NO! (or substitute some derivative, banal “fear” dialogue)…
(He gets back up and tries to run–but is blinded by a floodlight–with LOTS OF LENS FLARE!
Suddenly CGI explosions start going off all around the cemetery, for no darn stupid reason, except maybe for Abrams’ reasoning…and lots of shaky camera… He falls down on his big-nosed face)…
Abrams: Get me the fuck outta here! I don’t fucking believe this is happening!
Zombie-Theiss: Neither do I, but you Are wearing a red shirt…
Zombie-Solow (to Zombie-Theiss): He can’t use that word without earning this movie an ‘R’-rating…
Zombie-Doohan: Aye, Isn’t that funny…
(Let’s end this: they all converge on Jar Jar Abrams and rip the shit out of him, eating him alive… Lots of screaming… Close-ups… Rapid cuts… They save his genitals for the cemetary dogs to eat up… Movie ends, run end credits…)…
Zombie-Kelley (to the stripped-down remains): Now they can call You “Bones”!
That’s more my idea of a (bloody) wet dream!
– Channeling Ends…
It was an entertaining movie, but I think they didn’t took chances as with the 2009 title and it shows, as the new movie is just a collage of pieces that don’t make much sense when clipped together.